Commentary on Colossians 3:13

Colossians 3

English Standard Version

Put On the New Self
3 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 On account of these the wrath of God is coming. 7 In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. 8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. 11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.
12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Rules for Christian Households
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. 22 Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. 25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.

The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. ESV Text Edition: 2025.

Colossians 3:13. “bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

1. Exegesis of the Verse

Colossians 3:13 belongs to Paul’s description of the life that flows from union with the risen Christ. Those who have been raised with Christ are to seek what is above, put sinful practices to death, put off the old self, and put on the new self (Colossians 3:1–11). Paul then addresses believers as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, and calls them to put on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience (Colossians 3:12). Verse 13 shows how these graces operate when life together becomes difficult.

“Bearing with one another” means patiently making room for the weaknesses, limitations, and ordinary irritations of other believers. It is not passive resentment or an excuse for wrongdoing. It is the humble endurance required in a church made up of redeemed people who are not yet glorified.

“If one has a complaint against another” assumes that real grievances will arise. Paul neither denies injury nor commands believers to pretend that sin does not matter. The phrase is broad enough to include legitimate causes of blame, yet the command that follows prevents grievance from hardening into bitterness, retaliation, or division.

“Forgiving each other” uses language related to grace: believers are to grant forgiveness freely rather than demand personal repayment. The reciprocal wording places every Christian under the same obligation. Each person will sometimes need to forgive and sometimes need to be forgiven.

“As the Lord has forgiven you” gives both the ground and the pattern. The English Standard Version’s wording rightly centres the argument on the Lord’s prior action. Divine forgiveness is not a reward for our forgiveness. God’s gracious pardon in Christ comes first and creates a forgiven people who learn to forgive. Colossians has already grounded this pardon in Christ’s reconciling work and the cancellation of our debt (Colossians 1:13–14, 20–22; 2:13–14).

“So you also must forgive” makes the response obligatory. The command is not a technique for earning acceptance with God, but a necessary fruit of grace. In the flow of Colossians 3:12–17, forgiveness is joined to love, peace, the word of Christ, gratitude, worship, and a life lived in the name of the Lord Jesus.

2. Theological Teaching

Grace precedes obedience. Paul begins with identity: believers are chosen, holy, and loved, and have been raised with Christ (Colossians 3:1, 12). The command to forgive rests on what God has already done. This reflects the Christian pattern in which the gospel’s declaration grounds the Christian’s duty. Forgiveness is evidence of sanctifying grace, not the basis of justification (Romans 3:21–26; Ephesians 2:8–10).

Christ’s forgiveness is costly and sufficient. God does not overlook guilt. At the cross, Christ bore judgement, reconciled enemies, and cancelled the record of debt (Colossians 1:20–22; 2:13–14). Christian forgiveness therefore takes sin seriously while relinquishing personal vengeance and entrusting final judgement to God (Romans 12:17–21).

Sanctification is communal. The repeated phrase “one another” places forgiveness within the body of Christ. The new self is renewed after the image of its Creator, and old social divisions no longer determine fellowship (Colossians 3:10–11). The church displays Christ’s rule when believers bear with one another, forgive, love, seek peace, and let Christ’s word dwell richly among them (Colossians 3:12–16).

Forgiveness and reconciliation are related, but not identical. A believer can renounce revenge and cultivate readiness to forgive, even when an offender remains unrepentant. Full reconciliation ordinarily requires truth, repentance, and the rebuilding of trust (Luke 17:3–4; Matthew 18:15–17). Forgiveness does not require pretending that harm did not occur, removing wise boundaries, or shielding abuse from lawful church or civil accountability (Romans 13:1–4).

Love completes the picture. Colossians 3:14 presents love as the virtue that binds all the others together. Forgiveness is not merely the cancellation of a debt. It seeks the neighbour’s good, protects the church’s unity, and testifies that Christ is all, and in all (Colossians 3:11, 14–15).

3. Practical Application to Modern Christian Living

• Begin with remembered grace. Before rehearsing another person’s offence, recall the greater debt the Lord has forgiven in Christ.
• Name the grievance truthfully. Forgiveness is not denial. Describe the wrong without exaggeration, gossip, or self-justification.
• Distinguish weakness from wickedness. Many tensions call for patient forbearance. Serious or repeated sin may require loving confrontation, pastoral care, safeguarding, or lawful reporting.
• Release personal vengeance. Refuse to cultivate fantasies of repayment. Ask God to judge justly, heal what has been harmed, and enable a response shaped by mercy.
• Pursue peace wisely. Where it is safe and appropriate, speak directly, listen carefully, seek repentance, and offer forgiveness. Rebuilding trust may require time and observable change.
• Practise forgiveness in ordinary relationships. Homes, churches, friendships, and workplaces provide daily occasions to bear with differences, apologise promptly, and refuse to keep a private score of wrongs.
• Seek help when the wound is deep. Mature pastoral counsel, professional support, and safe community can assist a believer to pursue forgiveness without minimising trauma or danger.

4. Meditation Guide

Read

Read Colossians 3:1–17 slowly,
3 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 On account of these the wrath of God is coming. 7 In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. 8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. 11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.
12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
then read Colossians 3:13 again.
13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Notice who believers are, what they are to put off, what they are to put on, and how Christ’s forgiveness supplies the pattern and power for their response.

Reflect

• What does this passage say God has already done for me in Christ?
• Whose weakness am I being called to bear patiently?
• What complaint am I tempted to rehearse, enlarge, or use as a weapon?
• Have I confused forgiveness with denial, immediate trust, or the removal of necessary boundaries?
• What would a truthful, gracious, and wise next step look like?

Repent

Confess any bitterness, self-righteousness, gossip, retaliation, false peace, or refusal to seek help. Do not minimise the wrong done to you, but bring both the wound and your response under Christ’s lordship.

Receive

Rest in the sufficiency of Christ’s reconciling work. Remember that the command addresses a person already loved, chosen, made holy in Christ, and forgiven by the Lord (Colossians 3:12–13).

Respond

Choose one concrete action: pray for a softened heart, stop repeating the offence to others, seek wise counsel, make a truthful apology, arrange a safe conversation, establish a necessary boundary, or offer forgiveness where repentance has occurred.

Pray

Merciful Father, thank you for forgiving me through the death and resurrection of your Son. By your Spirit, clothe me with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Give me courage to face wrong truthfully, wisdom to act safely, and grace to forgive as the Lord has forgiven me. Let the peace of Christ rule in my heart, and make my life a witness to his reconciling love. Amen.

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. ESV Text Edition: 2025. Used by permission. All rights reserved.